I'm Celibate Get Me Out of Here: The Memoirs of an Internet Dater

by JoElliott (Author)

• Used

  Paperback
  2006

  $3.40

  'Two thirds of single Britons looking for love turned to the internet in 2005' - The Times , Jan 2006. I'm Celibate...Get Me Out of Here! tells a wickedly humorous and compulsive story of modern dating that will make you cringe and cry with laughter in equal measure. Jo typifies the vast number of busy, independent-minded, thirty-something women, who are impatiently hunting for their dream partner. Having explored all the traditional avenues for meeting her ideal man, with much trepidation Jo takes a reluctant peek at a dating website. 'That's for freaks and weirdos' she cries before plunging in and e-registering. Jo's rollercoaster dating ride takes her through a never-ending succession of encounters with dysfunctional and deluded men who lie about everything (especially their height), advertise themselves with fake pictures and use names, such as BigCock4U, Personal_Slave and want-a-baby.She endures dull dates failing to live up to her fantasies, bizarre requests involving handcuffs and custard pies and the realisation that she has fallen in love with someone over the keyboard, without ever having actually met them. Then there's the angry wife she didn't know existed, who has chanced upon her errant husband's emails...Even when Jo changes tactics and embarks upon a speed-dating session, she meets a charmer who tells her that twenty dates in one night is a bargain not to be scoffed at and saves him at least 'seventy sheets'. Amongst this smorgasbord of fraudulent and often desperate people there are some decent blokes, but none, it appears, are right for Jo. Is it possible to meet someone suitable via the internet?Jo is forced to confront her unforeseen naivety as she realizes that things are never as straightforward as they seem. She has to learn to understand what it is she really wants. Incredibly I'm Celibate...Get Me Out of Here! is a hilarious true story. Every single dating adventure and disaster really did happen. The author has merely changed the names of all those concerned to protect the guilty! Written with devilish wit for the generation who have grown out of all those schmaltzy 'Bridget Jones' love stories, I'm Celibate...Get Me Out of Here! delivers a uniquely female take on the way modern lovers meet - or don't.