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You Positively Couldn't Make it Up

You Positively Couldn't Make it Up

by JackCrossley (Author)

  • Used

    Paperback 2006

    $3.97
Synopsis

After the runaway cult success of You Couldn't Make It Up , You Really Couldn't Make it up , and You Absolutely Couldn't Make It Up , Jack Crossley returns with his latest cornucopia of wonderful anecdotes and strange goings-on from around the British Isles. In his many years as a newspaper journalist, Jack Crossley has collected literally thousands of these strange but true newspaper items. They are stories that you wouldn't believe if they weren't written down in black and white. You Positively Couldn't Make It Up is another wonderful collection of irresistible whimsy; a testament to Great Britain's lasting legacy of eccentricity, bizarre bureaucracy and confounding stubbornness!

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More Information

Format: Paperback
 Pages: 288
 Publisher: John Blake Publishing Ltd
Published: 16 Oct 2006
ISBN 10: 1844543145
ISBN 13: 9781844543144

Media Reviews
'Even funnier and more absurd than the others!' Keith Waterhouse What better way of celebrating the season of goodwill than to gather together 4,250 runners dressed as Santa Claus to raise thousands of pounds for charity? But after taking part in the two-and-a-half mile fun run in Newtown, Powys, some of the Father Christmases headed straight for the pub. It all ended up with more than 30 drunken men slugging it out in the main street. Police officers used CS spray and drew their batons to break up the fighting. Five men were arrested and four officers suffered minor injuries. PC Gareth Slaymaker confirmed that many of those involved were still wearing their Santa outfits. Times When an embarrassed guest's mobile phone rang in the Queen's presence she gently advised: 'You had better answer that. It might be somebody important.' Daily Mirror The sounds of laughter echoed across the Henley Rotary Club's lunch when the speaker, retired vet David Williamson, spoke of his early life as 'a vet in a cowshed' and told of the chap who lit a match to check the gas coming out of the rear end of a cow and burnt down the farm. Henley Standard When he was a young priest, Father Colin Myles Wilson, of Runcorn, Cheshire visited an elderly gentleman in hospital and admired an elaborate coat of arms tattooed on the patient's chest. The man then leaped to his feet, dropped his pants to the floor in full view of the ward, and revealed, down the full length of his left leg, a tattoo of King Billy. On the other leg was Queen Mary. The man then brought his legs together - and the royal couple kissed. Daily Telegraph They were tough on crime down at the betting office in Tower Hamlets, East London, when a balaclava clad man burst in screaming: 'I want the money or I will effing shoot you'. The 'gun' the bandit was wielding was inside a bag. But the bag was made from clear plastic and the 'gun' was yellow and sort of bendy. The desperado fled from the shop after staff refused to hand over any money and one of them said, 'I think what this guy has got is actually a banana'. Later a police dog sniffed out the abandoned banana, badly bruised and Southwark Crown Court sent Robert Downey, a previous offender, to jail for six years. Guardian Following newspaper stories about men wearing ladies' tights to keep warm, Stuart Hamilton of Derbyshire wrote to the Daily Telegraph about a hunting gentleman who was asked how long he had been wearing such tights. The reply: 'Ever since my wife found a pair in the back of my car.' Daily Telegraph
Author Bio
Jack Crossley is a leading journalist who has written for pretty much every newspaper you care to mention. He has a keen eye for the weird and the wonderful of British life, which he captures with such precision in this charming book.