Queen Camilla

by SueTownsend (Author)

• Used

  Paperback
  2007

  $3.25

  England was an unhappy and fearful land. In a desperate attempt to prevail over crime and social disorder Jack Barker, the Prime Minister has created Exclusion Zones for all of society's misfits, including the criminal, the inadequate, the feckless, the stupid, the morbidly obese and - the Royal Family. Prince Charles and the love of his life, Camilla live in Hell Close. He enjoys poultry keeping, composing letters to his dear friend Nicholas `Fatty' Soames and tending his vegetable patch. Camilla spends her days doing as little as possible aside from having her roots retouched by her neighbour, the trouble-maker, Beverley Threadgold and trying to keep Charles from sinking into melancholic self-pity. When the Queen announces that she is about to abdicate, Charles refuses to follow his destiny unless his wife can be Queen - and public opinion suggests the people would rather have silicone breasted Jordan than Camilla on the throne. But no sooner has Prince William offered himself as the next monarch than one Graham Cracknall, the Tidily wink champion of Ruislip emerges - claiming to be Charles and Camilla's forty-one year old secret love child, and therefore the rightful heir to the crown. In the run up to the General Election, Jack Barker instigates a one dog per household policy as part of his war on dogs.How will Camilla and Charles choose between her beloved Jack Russels, Freddy and Tosca, and his mongrel Leo. The dogs on the Fez Estate have to act collectively if they are going to save themselves and the entire dog population of England. Will sanity prevail over the right royal cock-up that England has become? Or will chaos reign supreme?

• Used

  Paperback
  2007

  $3.25

  What if being Royal was a crime? The UK has come over all republican. The Royal Family exiled to an Exclusion Zone with the other villains and spongers. And to cap it all, the Queen has threatened to abdicate. Yet Prince Charles is more interested in root vegetables than reigning ...unless his wife Camilla can be Queen in a newly restored monarchy. But when a scoundrel who claims to be the couple's secret lovechild offers to take the crown off their hands, the stage is set for a right Royal show down. And the question for Camilla (and rest of the country) will be: Queen of the vegetable patch or Queen of England?

• Used

  Hardcover
  2006

  $3.25

  For the past thirteen years, as England became an increasingly unhappy and fearful place, Prince Charles has been living quietly on a bleak council estate, The Flower Exclusion Zone (known locally as 'The Fez), with his wife and love of his life, Camilla. He enjoys gardening and poultry keeping while Camilla spends her days doing as little as possible, alongside their fellow ASBO-subjected neighbours. But life is about to change...Charles refuses to follow his destiny unless his wife can be Queen - and public opinion suggests the people would rather have Jordan than Camilla on the throne. But no sooner has Prince William offered himself as the next monarch, than one Graham Cracknall of Ruislip emerges - claiming to be Charles and Camilla's secret love child, and therefore the rightful heir to the crown. When the battle for the Crown begins the dogs on the Fez begin a struggle of their own - one that sweeps across the dog population of England. As Harris, the Queen's irascible corgi says, 'we've been domesticated for too long, it's time we showed our bleeding teeth.' Will sanity prevail over the right royal cock up that England has become? Or will chaos reign supreme? Queen Camilla shows Sue Townsend at her very best - sharp, satirical and utterly hilarious from the first page to the last.